July 27, 2014
We Choose Joy
Naaman and I are goal driven people. We are dreamers and we are visionaries. We talk all the time about how different our future will be and what we aim to accomplish. We are constantly creating something out of nothing, building castles in the sky (maybe someday in France?) and trying to figure out how exactly are we going to get there. Most people would probably laugh at all of our dreams, calling us unrealistic and uncommitted to our current circumstances and maybe, just maybe, a few might find us a bit inspiring.
Come over to our home and see that we are visual people driven by images and ideas. Our walls are covered with pictures of products we want to produce or places we want to go. Books and magazines on our shelves speak of decorating gorgeous chateaus, traveling far and wide, and being successful beyond our wildest dreams. Inspirational quotes motivate us to keep pushing forward. There's nothing like looking up and seeing the words "I can & I will" to help us move to the next task. Or being reminded daily that "You create your own opportunities". We find that the only thing that satisfies is to have these dreams and move towards them.
A simple life, content with day to day tasks of the home or office will never ever be "it" for us. That is simply not who we are. However, there are a few issues with our lifestyle choice and we have found out one in particular lately, which is being stuck in Go. We get so caught up in "Let's Move Forward" and "We Have To Get Ahead" that the Now stops being enjoyable. Jude becomes frustrating and a burden, our minds get warped with thoughts of "not good enough" and we don't even have time for each other. And I mean real time for each other. Not a date out (with the kids) or "we see each other all day isn't that enough?" kind of thing. We seemed to be doing things all day long but not getting anything done. That kind of living is really tiring!
So we addressed it and it was a good, good thing. We realized that we need to choose joy, actively. Expecting to be happy all the time and having a fantastic married life, with kids, just does not happen without work. And part of that work is choosing joy. No more multitasking our kids into our work. No more multitasking period! (It really is useless, I mean I think I'm getting more things done when in reality I am taking twice as long to finish anything.) No more days of just living together. Marriage has be done on purpose otherwise it "accidentally" gets messed up. No more halfway jobs. If I am playing with Jude, I am completely there body and mind. If I am working, I am completely attentive to the task at hand. If we are focusing on our relationship, the kids are somewhere else, it's just us now. And in everything, we try to remember that regardless of what we are working toward, right now will never happen again and we need to enjoy it while it lasts.
And you know what? It's been working! Our brains are not constantly overloaded. Jude is actually a really sweet and clever kid! Teddy is the peach he has always been. Our marriage is happier. We actually flirt! It was so much easier to flirt when we were dating. After marriage it was kind of taken for granted or we stopped trying, I don't know. And we are getting more work done! Things get accomplished and our goals seem nearer and clearer. Our lives are far from perfect but at least we are enjoying it day by day. And that really is the best way to live.